Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Time out with "the Wiltshires"

You could be forgiven for imagining that I am, oh so gently,
starting to get back on my feet and taking my first steps
in local society - dining with the county set,
taking tea with the bishop and working on my
outfit for the Easter point to point.

OK Suzie - which one of you two slurped?
You are sadly mistaken.  "The Wiltshires" I refer to is a
particularly virulent virus which has laid me, yet again,
flat on my back and fit for nothing.
As the charming doctor said this morning,
"Your convalescence doesn't seem to be going very well
so far does it Mrs Line?"
I do so love a little touch of British understatement from
time to time - don't you?
Cue violins.
I am no stranger to feeling poorly.
It all kicked off in my late teens when I was one of the first
to be seen wearing a deep vein thrombosis with matching
pulmonary embolism but so hard to find the right shoes to go
with the outfit.  The choice of colour was so limited in those days.

There was no stopping me after that - "ologies", "ectomies",
"syndromes" all followed in a never ending, rainbow stream.
My all time favourite maladie of choice, which I cherish to this day,
has to be lupus.  It's the closest I could come,
without actually catching rabies,
to something essentially canine.
Although hard pad was once suspected until quite by chance
I discovered a horseshoe nail lodged in the heel of my
left riding boot.  Oooops!

The mandrake goes well with ice and a slice.
My delightful guest suite here at Long Dog HQ UK
now resembles a pop up branch of Boot's the Chemist.
My nose is temporarily joined to my mouth by a
cold sore of epic proportions.
And Rodney the cat has deserted me and gone in
search of more amusing company.
A long dog would stay true until the end of time or at least until they called "time"
at the Frog & Radiator.  (It does exist, check it out if you don't believe me!)
What good could possibly come out of all this?
Well, I'll tell you.

Special rapid fire pack for people with pump action nostrils.
I bought myself a Vick's inhaler at the pharmacy on the way home.
Back in the '50s no self-respecting, snotty-nosed kid could
be found without one somewhere about their person.
It would fit almost any orifice although I have to say that
the nostril was my site of preference.
An expert "Vicker" could fire one from their nose quite some
considerable distance if the trajectory was calculated just right.
I can give no further details as I am still bound by a
childhood oath of allegiance not to divulge our secrets.

Nice to see the old traditions
still being passed on to the
next generation.
What I can say, however, is this.
Once that fickle cat does show his face again
he's in for a surprise.
The inhaler is loaded, in place and ready to fire.
Here kitty, kitty .....

You brought this on yourself Rodney!


  1. My two favorite artists, Julia Line and Henri Matisse, in that order, both visually stimulating.
    Landscape here is a frozen monochrome at a balmy -6. Hoping your spring fever abates soonest.

  2. Glad to hear you have avoided distemper..... so far.
    I'm never coming within a Vicks inhaler of you....
    er...chin up... or is there something lurking under? What to say - air hugs and kisses?

  3. Poor you! Add some vitamin D3 to your arsenal next time you visit the chemist shop. It will strengthen your immune system - here in cloudy Michigan, the doctors prescribe it when we have multiple viral illnesses. It may not do much for the current nasty thing but it will warn off the others when they come knocking at the door. For the current one I recommend tea with ginger brandy - I don't know that it cures anything but my mood but at the stage of misery influenza puts me in, I take whatever cures I can find! Take good care of your self! MIPat

  4. To this day I love the scent of Vicks, whether from an inhaler or from a little jar. Wonderful stuff!

    I agree with Pat, the D3 is good for getting your immune system back up to speed. I really notice the difference in my general well-being when I'm not taking adequate D supplements.

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery!