Monday, 31 March 2014

Lies, damned lies and statistics

Words which describe the persuasive power of numbers all
too well and which would, come to think of it,
have made a great title for a book on numerology.

Get it while stocks last!  Makes an excellent coffee
table book particularly if one of the legs is wonkey.

Perhaps later, but in the meantime this other excellent tome
is still widely available from all good bookstores, specialist
apiculture suppliers and, indeed, on line.

The boy Dizzie  it was rumoured that he used to tell
very racey jokes indeed, but never in the presence of Victoria!

Opinion is divided as to who coined said phrase originally,
the two main contenders being Mark Twain and Benjamin Disraeli.
Who cares anyway, you chose or enter a candidate of your own
because that's not the reason for today's epistle.

Too late to look this up Agnes - the doctors warned
you this would happen if you continued!
The second most dangerous thing to do on the internet,
after checking out medical symptoms and assuming that none of
you are into pornography, on-line dating or recreational drugs,
is to enter the twilight world of ..... blog statistics!

The latest "long drone" currently searching for antipodeans.
Big Long Dog is watching you!
Were you aware that from my overview platform I can see exactly
how many page views there have been each day,
where you came from, what you looked at and even .....
where you live!  Scarey isn't it?

Welcome aboard the blog ladies, I spot new arrivals almost immediately.
There are Americans by the thousand, Brits in their hundreds,
French, Germans, Dutch and Swedes by the score,
Canadians when their broadband isn't frozen and a
surprising amount of Russians and Chinese too.
I wonder what they make of it all?

Don't make a sound.  Keep very still.  These kiwis are rare and
we don't want to spook her.
But the burning question is - where are the antipodeans?
All those dear Kiwis busy making butter on their sheep farms,
and are the Ozzies too busy Waltzing Matilda and losing at cricket
to pay poor Long Dog any heed?
I know size isn't everything but I want to be big "down under"
not just "on top"!  It would stop me keep falling forward.
Louise dear, take off that ridiculous hat for a moment,
step away from the barbie, check the dunnie for redbacks,
and then give me a wave that will make my stat counter wobble please.

That was some SAL ladies.  Same time next week?
Can you see me - I'm there on the left,
just in front of Camilla.
 There, that should do it.  So now let's round of this post with a
quick verse of the Long Dog Anthem.
I'll count you in ....... two, three.
"Come follow me follow,
Down to the hollow,
And there let us crosstitch
In Gloriana "mud"*
*One of the new spring colours in their Grunge Collection


  1. I might live in Germany, but I am still very much Australian! Oh and what was the score for the most recent Ashes tour in Australia? That's right......I believe the Aussies won 4-1!

  2. There's nothing like a remark about cricket to get your attention. My daughter in law is an Ozzie so I shall have to watch my step if I don't want to get boomeranged!

  3. I look too. I am Aussie living in Western Australia

  4. Well that makes me number three, and Naomi number four so you have a collection of ozzies now.

  5. PS we love our cricket hehehe

  6. Now all I need are a couple of dear little kiwis and a Tazmanian Devil or two just to complete the collection of "down unders"!

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