GIVE 'EM A RING
by Julia Line, granny to the stars!
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| The crow's just popped out to the shops. |
Down in the field where the daisies blow
Lives a fat Shetland pony and a big black crow.
One munches grass and the other just says "caw".
It's all sweet and so bucolic
Who could want for more?
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| Did I say it had to be a real one? |
Down by the river where the rushes grow so tall
Lives a bloody great swan and a spider very small.
One does, frankly, nothing and the other just spins "stuff".
It's so calm, almost romantic,
But is it quite enough?
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| It was him! |
In a warm and comfy house with their children all around
Lives a couple, their four children and a small foxhound.
They all make constant chatter and one just farts a lot.
It's so safe and well protected.
What's not to like in that?
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| He's getting a bit forgetful bless him. |
Down on the allotments
Where the vegetables all grow
Works a funny little man
With an enormous hoe, hoe, hoe.
He does a lot of thinking when he potters in his shed
It's where he whiles his time away.
So what more can be said?
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| She makes them for charity, can you guess which one? |
Inside a chilly cottage where the bills are mounting up
Lives a crazy old woman and her mangey cat called Fluff.
One does a lot of knitting while the other just sheds hair.
It seems so sad and all quite pointless.
Is there anybody there?
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| It must be a trunk call. |
When did you last call a wrinkly?
Get on the blower now and make someone's day!
I especially like the Shetland Pony in his knitted sweater.
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