Monday, 28 July 2014

It seems I might have finally struck a chord!

My recent post, catchily entitled "Glad Tidings of Great Joy",
would appear to have connected with the deeper, more sensitive
side of your psyche dear readers and your response,
if not actually viral, has been touching and really rather special.
One kindred spirit, Sharon from far away in south Virginia
blessed me with a gently rainy, green morning.
There was no hint of what perfume this greeting carried
but you can't win them all - perhaps it was of purple
lilacs borne on a warm breeze.

Humvee birds!
Deborah, the Julie Andrews of the high and verdant peaks,
sent me a pretty day filled with happy little hummers,
an abundance of parsley, yellow crooknecks, chocolate mint and
loads of cherry tomatoes lit by sparkling sunshine. 

At this point I have a confession
to make as I misread the word hummers as "humvees"
which instantly conjured up a vision of giant roadsters hovering in the
air.  I wonder what variety of mint caused that!

There's always a dog in there somewhere.
 Never one to disappoint, sweet Cathering of the White Horse
came up with soft mumblings of affection coupled with
the smell of rain on hot grass and earth
together with kisses like small droplets of moisture
running down the window panes.
Bravo, three cheers and well done ladies, I was rather
touched by it all although there are some who would say
that I'm generally a bit touched so no change there!
Into each life some rain must fall, scented or otherwise,
which brings me to the French entry!

Rose Window, Chartres Cathedral, France.
The RSI (Regime Social des Independents) based
at Chartres did not send me rainbows of coloured
light streaming from a thousand panes of sacred stained
glass in their beautiful cathedral but a terse demand for
my second trimestre trading figures with a very
tight deadline of 31 July, or else, which is why I must
end here and immerse myself in my ledgers for
fear of facing a hefty fine or possibly
incarceration in a modern day version of
the dreaded Bastille.

Wonder where she's hidden her calculator?
 Now where did I put that old envelop I jotted
those figures down on?

Friday, 25 July 2014

The small fire of Drayton

This morning on yet another routine visit to the
Drayton Health Centre I came across something rather
unusual to report .....

..... two very serious cases of spontaneous combustion
in the car park ......
..... and another in the waiting area.
So much for high heeled sneakers and goodness
knows what happened to his wig hat!
I just hope it's not catching.

Thursday, 24 July 2014

What's so special about 24th July?

Why this of course - happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me, etc ......
Sixty seven not out, although there have been times along
the way when I wondered whether I would make it.
I shall be celebrating quietly as usual with
just my nearest and dearest, a few thousand carefully hand picked
guests, the band of the Scot's Dragoons, some four legged
friends in party gear topped off with a lazer display
and fireworks around midnight.
And if it's not visible from space then I shall ask for my money back! 

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

F * * K !!!!

I think, by now, that most of you are aware that I don't
always have the best of luck and today is no exception.
I have just received an email from a friend in France
to inform me that my brand new van with only about
3,000 kilometers on the clock which has been standing
on the local garage forecourt awaiting a buyer
has become the victim of a freak hailstorm.
The windscreen has been totally smashed,
all the hailstones the size of tennis balls have
entered into the van only to melt on the pristine
upholstery and the bodywork is completely wrecked.
An artist's impression.
In fact, it's a write off.
And to make matters even more peachy there is some
doubt that the insurance (which incidentally I have just
renewed) will cover it as it was not stationed
at Chateau Long Dog which is deemed to be my abode.
Let me just repeat that - F * * K -
it might make me feel better but somehow I doubt it.

Monday, 21 July 2014


How long did it take you to spot it?
It all started off innocently enough, as most things do, during the course of
a conversation with my youngest granddaughter regarding the merits
of having a couple of extra toes when faced with the task of
learning to swim.
We came to the conclusion that a couple of extra digits certainly wouldn't
 go amiss and might even make her progress through the water a little easier
and potentially swifter than her little classmates.
At this point things suddenly went awry and I now find myself
engaged in a bizarre competition to discover whether it is possible
to grow a couple of extra toes using the power of our
minds as our only tool.  So far I have nothing positive to report.

Can you see it?  I've blown the picture up a bit for you.
Now not many people know this but it's not actually that uncommon
a phenomena.  Liam Gallagher of Oasis fame has an extra toe,
Anne Boleyn, old Henry VIII's wife was said to have an extra
appendage or two and even characters in works of fiction
like Hannibal Lecter were digitally enhanced.

This experiment is open to all comers including animals and Alice too.

Talk to the paw or leave a message, your time starts now!
Good luck ........

Saturday, 19 July 2014

"Glad tidings of great joy"

Please try not to over react to today's catchy title.
I haven't won the lottery neither have I sold the chateaux
- damn and blast all round I hope you cry.
It's simply that I like the phrase.
For me it conjours up angels with trumpets,
messengers arriving on horseback or something
auspicious in need of immediate celebration.

Not quite the sort of messenger I had in mind.
 I'm also getting a little bored with "regards", "best wishes",
"cheers" and even the tried and tested "you take care now"
at the bottom of the majority of emails and letters which
I receive.  I'm such an old grump.

That's more like it, very peaceful.
So, not wanting to join them I have opted for an
altogether entirely different form of ending.
First off  I decided to designate the love
I was sending with a different shade each day
- big pink love, love the colour of a summer meadow,
love divine all loves excelling - sorry that's the
first line of No 47 Hymns Ancient & Modern for Schools.
I soon began to expand upon my theme,
much like with my designs, and the love had to be
more than just a colour it had to be an interesting
statement full of adjectives, metaphors and similies.
Today I received back "white root love" from
the divine Deborah of the deer and rocky places
which can only prove it must be starting to rub off
on others.  You guessed it - I'm after viral again!

Sorry labradors - lurchers win every time!
But let's not stop there, why not include taste and smell too!
Wouldn't you just love to receive thoughts evocative
of wet labradors sleeping by the fire on a winter's afternoon?
the perfume of apricots ripening in the sun or, a particular
favourite of mine, the heady aroma of fresh coffee
wafting from the kitchen?

Could this be the Moonstone Fairy,
I do so miss her?
Or even "I send you fairy dust gathered in my dreams
to make your day a little more special."
I wrote to the bank today - I wonder what they will
make of my "from your favourite customer I send you thoughts as
red as the figures on an overdraft and greetings as
round as the noughts on my balance!
Now how shall I sign myself on my note to the
rather fit young man who's currently doing the garden I wonder?

Friday, 18 July 2014

An ickle poem

The grass is green
The sky is blue

The birds go tweet
The cows go moo
The stars are bright
The night is dark

The owls go hoot
The dogs go bark
The clouds are white
The day is fair

The world's amazing
And I live there!