It took me quite some time to get up off my bum and write this
today because sloth is so easy to slip into like an old pair
of slippers and really rather enjoyable.
Sloth is such a nice word too.
Say it over and over again to yourself and pretty soon
inactivity will enfold you like a giant pink comfort blanket.
Apathy will soon follow, together with a distinct lack of
desire to fulfil any social obligation whatsoever.
And the really good thing about sloth is that it's perfectly legal,
although admittedly habit forming, and with only a few
teensie little physical side effects such as muscle
wasting, deep vein thrombosis and eventual brain death if you take
it to extremes.
it to extremes.
Apart from all that sloth beats recreational drugs any day of the
week and won't cost you a penny except for the small
problem of lost earnings. But we won't dwell on that.
Samplers over the centuries have always seemed to concentrate
on worthy sentiments such as Patience, Virtue and Wisdom.
Hands up who's ever seen one banging on about Sloth?
ODE TO SLOTH
Oh help me spend each idle day
Asleep or on my back.
Allow sweet Sloth to succour me
Perhaps there are hundreds of them out there languishing in drawers
and attics but never proudly on display. Not because taking
pride in them would be yet another sin but simply because
their slothful creators never got around to finishing them.
You know who you are!
The prize for the best sloth quote has to go to dear old
Ronald Regan who said, "I've heard that hard work never killed
anyone, but I say why take the chance?" or did he?
How do you fancy a spell in the snake pit 'cos that's the
punishment on Judgement Day for all those hours spent chilling
out on the sofa. What do you think about light blue for the
colour? Very apt 'cos it can't summon up the energy to
become a proper blue. And as for the animal, I don't see what
a goat has to do with it at all. I've kept several goats in my
time and they none of them kept still for even five minutes
so I've taken the liberty of changing it to the obvious choice.
The sloth - he was made for the job.
When you can be bothered, click and drag yourself over to the
Long Dog website. It's probably too much to imagine you'll be
lively enough to order something but I live in hopes.
Coming soon - a big helping of GREED.