Betes Noire and Mondegreens

What really gets you going but not in a nice,

hold me tight, sort of way?
 

Those bugbears to be avoided if at all possible, objects of

aversion; let's not hold back - the bane of one's existence.

Everyone has a word for it from the Danish banemand, through

the Swedish vildsvin, to the Russian zupel.  Even the Manx

language has the word ard-ghwoaieid the pronunciation of which

the inhabitants of the Isle of Man regard as their own anathema.

I've just spotted something worse than socks with sandals

 

What's yours?  Is it the chaos caused by screaming children as you

try to navigate the busy supermarket aisles on a Saturday morning;

the sound of nails scraping down a blackboard; the task of cleaning

out a litter tray (you don't get that with a dog); or could it be the

sight of your other half wearing socks with his sandals yet again?

My personal bloodboiler is people who use expressions or phrases

which they have obviously picked up somewhere along life's way

and got totally wrong - Mondegreens.

Will the real Lady Mondegreen please show herself.

 

The term is fairly new and was coined by the American writer

Sylvia Wright who, as a child, misheard the words of the Scottish

ballad "The Bonny Earl of Murray" which goes as follows.

Feel free to sing along if the fancy takes you.

Ye highlands - ye lowlands

Oh where hae ye been?

They hae slay the Earl of Murray

And Lady Mondegreen

The last line of which should have read "And laid him on the green"!

 

Good old George W. Bush was so adroit at this that

a whole new genre sprang up after him - Bushisms.

"They have miscalculated me as a leader"; "It will take time

to restore chaos and order." (maybe not that far wrong) and my

favourite "The law I sign today directs new funds to the task of

collecting vital intelligence on weapons of mass production."

During a popular television programme for foodies that I was watching last

night I had a really good squirm when the presenter glibly informed

us all that the dish she was preparing was totally "free of addictives"

instead of additives unless of couse she was knocking up a sneaky

batch of "hash-free" brownies.

They still look quite addictive to me.

 

The all-time best Biblical squirm comes from Psalm 23 in the

shape of the misquoted line, "Surely good Mrs Murphy shall follow

me all the days of my life."

 

I will leave you with a childhood error of my own;

The very mangled words of a popular war time song

oft sung by my mother as she buffed up her brass.

Mersey does and docie doe's

And little lambs eat ivy.

A kiddley divey doo

Wouldn't you?

Having a break in between verses.