Tuesday 25 March 2014

Well that's the giddy bloody limit and no mistake!!

I have it on paper,
irrefutable evidence,
the cruel words writ large for all to see.
I am cast down into the very depths of dispair,
tossed asside like an old, worn shoe.
 
"Whatever ails thee lass?" said Jennifer,
in a kindly tone of voice often used when addressing the elderly.

 
 
"I'll tell thee what ails me"
- I have just discovered that I now come under the auspices of
THE DEPARTMENT OF GERIATRIC MEDICINE!!!
It says so on their letter head.
 
I'm entering the twilight zone,
losing height and muscle tone as we speak.
The shadows lengthen, the days grow cold ....
sorry, broke into song there for a moment.

Nice one Camilla.  Doesn't seem to stop her pulling!
 
 But wait.  Hang on a mo.  Not so hasty Julia.
There could be an upside to all this.
A turbo-charged mobility scooter,
concessions for the old,
carte blanche to fart in public places with impunity.
After all, it would be expected of me and
I don't want to let the side down.
I might even get away with touching young
men's bottoms and claiming it was accidental.

Looks kind of cool in a rumpled sort of a way.
 
Bring it on, a time of lewdness shall come upon the land.

It might not be that bad after all.  Wonder how fast they go?

I will most certainly not go gentle but in a raging,
disorderly and unconventional way as I have lived
the rest of my life.

 
 
These may be the twilight years but that's when stars sparkle
isn't it? and no one can see what you're up to either.
As the French, and Grampa Hendricks used to say,
I shall be "entre chien et loup".
Cloaked in a mantle of dusk, the time of night when you
can't quite tell if it's a dog or a wolf up ahead.
Someone's in for a shock and no mistake.

I had to get close to read what it said - honest!
"Ertcha cow son" as we Cockneys are wont to say.
Carpe diem - and if there are no carp about,
well then grab anything on offer like a nice firm bum.
I dare you - feinites not allowed. 

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