You could be forgiven for imagining that I am, oh so gently,
starting to get back on my feet and taking my first steps
in local society - dining with the county set,
taking tea with the bishop and working on my
You are sadly mistaken. "The Wiltshires" I refer to is a
particularly virulent virus which has laid me, yet again,
flat on my back and fit for nothing.
As the charming doctor said this morning,
"Your convalescence doesn't seem to be going very well
so far does it Mrs Line?"
I do so love a little touch of British understatement from
time to time - don't you?
I am no stranger to feeling poorly.
It all kicked off in my late teens when I was one of the first
to be seen wearing a deep vein thrombosis with matching
pulmonary embolism but so hard to find the right shoes to go
There was no stopping me after that - "ologies", "ectomies",
"syndromes" all followed in a never ending, rainbow stream.
My all time favourite maladie of choice, which I cherish to this day,
has to be lupus. It's the closest I could come,
without actually catching rabies,
to something essentially canine.
Although hard pad was once suspected until quite by chance
I discovered a horseshoe nail lodged in the heel of my
My delightful guest suite here at Long Dog HQ UK
now resembles a pop up branch of Boot's the Chemist.
My nose is temporarily joined to my mouth by a
cold sore of epic proportions.
And Rodney the cat has deserted me and gone in
search of more amusing company.
A long dog would stay true until the end of time or at least until they called "time"
at the Frog & Radiator. (It does exist, check it out if you don't believe me!)
What good could possibly come out of all this?
I bought myself a Vick's inhaler at the pharmacy on the way home.
Back in the '50s no self-respecting, snotty-nosed kid could
be found without one somewhere about their person.
It would fit almost any orifice although I have to say that
the nostril was my site of preference.
An expert "Vicker" could fire one from their nose quite some
considerable distance if the trajectory was calculated just right.
I can give no further details as I am still bound by a
childhood oath of allegiance not to divulge our secrets.
|Nice to see the old traditions|
still being passed on to the
What I can say, however, is this.
Once that fickle cat does show his face again
he's in for a surprise.
The inhaler is loaded, in place and ready to fire.