Mes Sourcils!

I have no eyebrows thanks to ongoing auto-immune problems and

for the vast majority of the time it matters not a jot.  The frame of my

spectacles covers the offending area and as they were never a prominent

feature at the best of times I tend not to mourn their loss - until today.

Those brows spoke volumes

Today I discovered whilst reading a magazine article that there is a

"language of the brows"  and therefore, because of my loss, I am unable

to participate,  I am "mute".  I cannot lower to express displeasure,

raise in surprise, cock in a quizzical manner nor flash a cheeky little

wtf a la Groucho Marx.

Don't look into her eyes.

What to do?  A quick trawl of the internet soon threw up as many

questions as it supplied answers.  Did you know that in the dark ages

women stuck on bits of mouse skin in an attempt to deceive, that

Queen Elizabeth I shaved hers off, that you can have them tattooed on

and that e-bay offers a whole range of eyebrow syrups for "every age,

race, sex, skin-type and occasion".  

Makes everything crystal clear

It was the last option that had me wondering - I've heard of come to bed

eyes but this is a step too far.  Amazon are even offering free and fast

delivery on "extensions" would you believe?  That certainly caused me to

raise the shiny, bald surfaces just above my eyes I can tell you, but no one

heard me cry out!

"Frozen" assets

Further painstaking research led to the discovery of waxing parlours,

the Asian depilatory art of "threading", stick on bling, a plethora of

cosmetic pencils and dyestuffs finally ending up with eyebrow art

in all it's myriad, and very alluring, forms.

Upon reflection I think I'll pass on them all, even "the allure", and just

keep my glasses on in the hope that no one notices.