Full steam ahead

What do you get when you cross a post-apocalyptic future

with not only the American Wild West but also all the

best bits of the Victorian era?

Hang on to your hat gel it's blowing a bit.

Perhaps an irradiated cowboy who is certainly "not amused",

maybe a homeless saloon girl dressed as Prince Albert

but most definitely a genre of fiction and assocated

subculture imaginatively named Steampunk.

Sounds like my kind of scene, so bring it on!

Reminds me a bit of Noddy Holder.

Let's play with HG Well's time machine, come and ride in an

airship and work it all out on Babbage's analytical machine.

But hold on a minute - first of all we need to be dressed

for the part.  Oh goody!

Schmoking!

However, please don't get confused and come all got up for

retro-futurism as that would never do and your street

cred would plummet to a bit fat zero.

A bit Lord Byron or is it Fontleroy?  Nice helmet btw.

I'm afraid the guide lines are so sketchy as to be practically

non-existent and this is where a good imagination might

come in handy.  Think granny's bloomers and Great

Uncle's waistcoat topped off with a parasol; tailcoats,

top hats, flying goggles; corsets, bustles, petticoats;

medals, militaria and moth holes; holsters, spurs, lassoos.

Go on - give us a twirl.

Stop there as it's all getting a bit too shades of grey for me now.

Have a go, have fun, don't frighten the horses and, above all,

have one eye open for the rozzers or you may wind up with

an asbo and an electronic tag too for your trouble.

Not sure about the dreds.

A little more steam and less punk please Dougall and if 

you've never read Para Handy you won't have the faintest

clue as to what I'm on about.  So what's new?

The Turner Prize

Alain grafting away in his workshop.

No, not THE Turner Prize but A turner prize should 

certainly go to Alain Mailland.

Alain (he's French) started out in life as a carpenter

but very quickly discovered that his real skill lies

in wood turning and he celebrates life and all it's

little hidden twists and "turns" with his beautiful creations.

Definately a bit Viking this one.

Never leave Alain beneath the "greenwood" tree because

within moments of being left alone he'd transform it

into some magical, hybrid creature from this

galaxy or beyond.

His workshop is in the heart of the maquis gardois

and if you're ever in the vacinity of Chambrigaud I

counsel you to go and see his utterly captivating

work up close and personal for yourselves.

And if you've a hankering for something a little more

hands on, Alain runs classes and workshops in his atelier

throughout the year  Well one good "turn" deserves

another after all..

These are spooky little dudes.

Filling in the cracks

"Empty vessels make the most noise" was a much used

and extremely irritating remark frequently made by

old Ada Hendriks, my maternal grandmother.

What she actually meant was that "this child (me) is 

making far too much noise, will somebody please 

shut her up at once."

This one "bowls" me over.

But when you think about it, if you drop an old china

vase from a great height onto a tiled floor not only does

it shatter into zillions of pieces but it also does make

an extremely satisfying, smashing noise.  How do I know?

I tried it once and then blamed my grandmother for

my childish curiosity.

Broken hearts?  No problem.

Which brings me to the subject of today's post - what to do

with all the pieces.  Well, as luck would have it, the

Japanese have already come up with the perfect solution,

KINTSUKUROI.  A rather beautiful word and one that

could almost be hurled in anger - suck your what?

What are the odds on the cracks forming branches I wonder?

What it actually means is golden repair or joinery.  It's the

art of mending broken pottery with lacquer dusted with

gold, silver or platinum dust and the finished result is often

more beautiful than the original object.

This one was well and truly up the spout before it was mended.

There are three distinct methods to chose from.  Either

stick the bits back together again with the golden lacquer

if the damage is not too bad.  If there are actual pieces

missing then replace them with a solid gold infill and

if all else fails find a similarly shaped non-matching piece

and lacquer it in creating a patchwork effect.  But

where to find another piece, you may well ask.

Smash something else of course, let's do this repair properly.

I always knew she'd crack up under pressure.

As with most things Japanese there's also a philosophical

side to this smashing art form where breakage and repair

are looked on as part of the history of an object rather than

something to disguise.  It's an acceptance of change and

fate as aspects of human life; a compassionate sensitivity.

So next time you break something precious and try to stick

it together again just tell yourself that if you were in Japan

they would regard your now less than perfect vessel as having 

become more beautiful for having been broken.

Crackin' as the Welsh would say.

Seven Ages of Dog - 7.The Last Walk

How spooky is this?

Last scene of all, that ends this strange devoted history,

is second puppyhood and mere oblivion.

Trying to look on the bright side.

Sans teeth, clouded eyes, sans taste,

sans everything

Looks like it's getting pretty crowded up there.

See you at the bridge, hand me a tissue

I've got something in my eye.

I've got my eye on something too ......

Here we go again, not quite 101 but enough to chose from.

Seven Ages of Dog - 6. The Senior

He's read the same paragraph three times now.

The sixth age shifts into a steady, trusted senior

Bearing a few of life's scars

With spectacles on nose and stiff of shank.

Please give me that last sausage.

And his big, deep bark turning again towards

Puppy treble, pipes and whistles in his breath.

I've learned to put up with this over the years.

Next time have some tissues ready,

this could get messy.

R-kade

Well I seem to have gone all long and sideways on you

with this new design which makes a pleasant change

from portrait and gives a chance to use up some of those

odd shaped pieces of material that we all tend to

hang on to in case they might come in use one day.

That day has come!

This proud, trembling beauty (either that or I've got the

shakes again) rejoices in the name of R-kade.

It's at this point that I shall cut you off at the pass

so to speak if you just happen to be in a Western film

with John Wayne et al, and if you don't then I'll

just explain the title thus avoiding small outbursts of

emails demanding an explanation.

You'll need to put on your wet weather gear and take

yourself off into the middle of a field somewhere so that

you can view the picture from a distance.  

Can you still hear me?  Good then I'm going to shout out

to you the dictionary definition of the word "arcade" and

then the penny should drop.  "A series of arches supported

by columns, piers or pillars, either freestanding or attached

to a wall to form a gallery."  I should like to think that everyone,

with the possible exception of Alice, now knows where

I'm coming from and even she should twig when she's

stitched the first few pages of the chart.

Now I must face the music because that's bound to be the next

question I get asked.  The words come from 

one of my favourite songs - Come by the Hills.  The lyrics

were written by Gordon Smith to be sung to the great Irish

air Buachaill On Eirne.  The are several versions on YouTube

if you want to hear it for yourself and if you already know it

sing along now with me:

Come by the hills to the land where fancy is free

And stand where the peaks meet the sky and the lochs meet the sea,

Where the rivers run clear and the bracken is gold in the sun

Ah, the cares of tomorrow can wait 'til this day is done.

Now enough fannying about.  This incredibly, wonderfully,

georgous, irresistable piece measures 433 x 208, will cost

you a modest £18.00 (or an immodest 18 nude pounds sterling)

is called R-kade, as already mentioned, and can be obtained

direct from me as a pdf download or from all good

local needlework shops globally and throughout the cosmos

with the exception of Neptune where no one is into cross stitch!

jools@longdogsampler.com 

Phew - after all that I hope you like it.

Coming soon ............

.......... a brilliant new design.  This Sunday to be precise.

This is just a sneaky little peeklet and all I'm prepared

to show you at the moment so come back

Sunday for the great reveal!

Seven Ages of Dog - 5. The Mature Adult

He's watching you, don't make any sudden moves.

And then the mature hound, in fair round belly

With good capon lined

With eyes all-seeing and coat of formal cut

Soon be time to start downsizing dear.

Full of wisdom and good manners

And so he plays his part.

As mature as his brandy.

Next time:  The Senior

Seven Ages of Dog - 4. The Working Dog

Lance Corporal Hound on duty

Then the soldier, following loud commands and whistles,

Jealous of his pack place, sudden and quick in quarrel.

His master's eyes.

Seeking to please his master,

Even in the field of war.

His master did go to Specsavers.

Next time:  The Mature Hound

Seven Ages of Dog - 3. The Young Adult

Both singing from the same hymn sheet.

And then the young adult sighing like a furnace

Singing the "O" song

Sweet nothings

Such a lusty ballad

Made to whisper in a mates whiskery ear.

A love sick hound

Next time:  The Working Dog

Seven Ages of Dog - 2. The Tyke

Is this the naughty chair?

And then the whining tyke,

with a satchel of toys and shining, well-groomed face,

Nobody say the "c" word, please.

Pulling on lead,

unknowingly to training classes.

School's out for today.

Next age - The Young Adult