Two steps forward, three steps back .....

I was just cramming the last delicious morsel of cheese and onion

pastie into my mouth, and a particularly delicious one it was too,

when the telephone in the soft room began to ring.

 

I didn't manage to get there in time despite an Olympic qualifying

dash up the hall which left me breathless and slightly light-headed

I might add.  However when it rang again moments later

 I did pick up the call and instantly wished I hadn't!

He was calling from his surgery in the Tardis.

 

 

No, it wasn't the rudie man wanting to know the colour of my

knickers, nor was it anyone attempting to flog me something.

It was - the doctor.

 

Damn and blast!  If it's not one thing then it's another and

apparently my cholesterol is now giving reason for concern.

Having already had a brief flirtation with statins during the course

of which I nearly lost all sensation in both my legs

I begged for clemency and the opportunity to control matters with

diet and exercise.   Aaargh! the very words are enough to induce panic.

Surely the jam must count as one of my five a day?

 

I decided not to proffer too many details regarding my current dietary

fads but have decided that perhaps it's not really too bright an

idea to exist solely on pies, sausages, Danish pastries,

cheese, full strength Greek yogurt and the occasional

giant slab or three of dairy milk chocolate which is currently

on special offer at Tesco's - a pox on their marketing manager!

Bastards!
 

Fuelled by fear and possibly my last pastie for some time to come

I set out on a walk - 15 minutes there, 15 minutes back for starters -

during the course of which the heavens opened,

 I was nearly mowed down by zealous binmen zigzagging

across the pavement in front of me and met a very charming

ginger cat whose name I know not and several bunnies

whose names I care not but I bet they would taste delicious

with a few herbs and a handful of tiny little carrots on the side.

Bright eyes burning like fire - sing along now.
 

All this talk of food is making me hungry

- fancy a radish anyone?