Move over bogeyman .....

.... I've just found something far more scarey -                                   THE CUMMERBUND - read on if you dare!                                                                                                                                 She sat upon her Dobie,--                                          She heard the Nimmak hum,--                                          When all at once a cry arose,--                                         'The Cummerbund is come!'                                                  In vain she fled: -- with open jaws                                           The angry monster followed,                                              And so, (before assistence came,)                                                 That Lady Fair was swallowed.

There are Cummerbunds at the bottom of my garden ......

They sought in vain for even a bone       Respectfully to bury,-- They said, -- 'Hers was a dreadful fate!'       (And Echo answered 'Very.') They nailed her Dobie to the wall,       Where last her form was seen, And underneath they wrote these words,       In yellow, blue, and green:-- Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!       Nor sit out late at night,-- Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come,       And swallow you outright. I'm not really sure where this train of thought came from, I blame it on the medication, but good old Edward Lear's fine words are enough to get small grandchildren in from the garden pretty sharpish once the shadows start to lengthen.  I can recommend it as bedtime reading for any small person of a nervous disposition. I'm 5'2" and believe me I no longer linger in the raspberries after dark!   A cummerbund can also be an item of gent's clothing of course, seen modelled here by a big butch Glaswegian after five pints of heavy and a deep fried Mars bar - I think we all can guess what comes next and that's pretty scarey too - a pukka Glasgow kiss! (Look it up if you don't know).     I think on this occasion I'll just settle for good old Beck's with a jumper round his waist! I'd be a fool not to.