Wednesday, 2 March 2016

Shedding for Beginners - Chapter II

or to put it in layman's terms, nought to shed in thirty minutes!

I've travelled in worse.

You could instantly tell that it was going to be a smooth
ride with C & C Sheds of Great Yarmouth, when
they picked me up from the Lock Up in their lorry.
This did, as you can imagine, raise an eyebrow or two and
caused net curtains to twitch, as I clambered rather inelegantly
up into the cab and dug myself a space to perch among
the empty take-away boxes, coke cans and sundry items
of discarded clothing that lay strewn about.

The "boys" hard at work.

There was also a very heavy smell of fag smoke clinging to
the interior of the cab and it's not until you've been smoke
free for many years that you come to realise what a vile
pong it actually is.  And there speaks a reformed 40 a day girl.
I really don't know how I found the time to smoke all those
looking back on it.

I wonder where my sewing lamp will go?

Once safely up the slope and past the heavy security gate
installed to stop vegetables staging a break out during the long
hours of darkness, the "boys" were eager to begin.  I use
the word boys advisedly as the boss at C & C Sheds had
definately not picked out his tastiest two labourers for the job.
Still you pays your money and you takes your chance and
I got what could only have been his uncle and great grandfather.
Better luck next time when I decide to have an extension added.

That's a raspberry cane in case you're wondering.

The sleepers which form the base were tossed onto the
chosen site with an alacrity born of practice.  They were swiftly
followed by the floor panel.  Then with much hammering
and the occasional soft cuss lost on the wind The Savoy on
Plot 19 swiftly took shape.  A quick dab of creosote on any
exposed untreated surfaces, a squirt of mastic as the window
was inserted and we were almost there.

All done and dusted.  Welcome to The Savoy!

I discovered at this juncture that neither of the boys had any
sense of humour. With a very straight face, I told them
not to go into the shed to finish off unless they took their boots
off as I didn't want my new floor made all dirty.  They were
already undoing the laces before the penny dropped and
I don't think either of them saw the funny side.

Better to be on the inside pissing out than on the
outside pissing in I always say!

The cheque writing ceremony passed without hitch or hindrance,
 we shook hands on the matter and they left me standing all
alone on the allotments next the marshes with my beautiful
new shed.  Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!

Chapter III coming soon - What to put in a shed!


  1. Very nice, Julia. It looks like a...well, it reminds me of...uh, A Room of One's Own comes to mind.

    Furnish with a rocking chair--because you ROCK!

  2. With a cushion.