Tuesday, 23 June 2015


Only recently, you will remember, it was my sad task to write
the obituary for my friend Needle who, during his short but
productive life, had become a vital part of the legend that is Long Dog.

It would seem that his death was not to be just another of those
sadnesses that we all have to bear from time to time but the
beginning of an epidemic; the emergence of a new and deadly killer
that is casting its wicked shadow over sewing boxes and needle
cases the length and breadth of the land - SNAP! -
or to give it it's full name Sewing Needle Aperture Peristalsis.

A moment's silence please.

SNAP is always fatal and the early symptoms to look out for are a
lacklustre appearance, refusal to take thread and finally rust spots 
culminating in the head breaking off.

Only this week I have witnessed the death of two young needles
in rapid succession whilst others remain in quarantine sealed in
Tupperware containers in the fridge.

Work is currently being stepped up to create a vaccine but in the meantime
vigilance and strict personal hygiene (no more sucking the cotton
before threading) are our only weapons against this menace.

The bottom example is the worst case ever seen.

SNAP is just one of a whole raft of hitherto unknown sewing
implement killers which have recently appeared upon the scene all
of which come under the umbrella of PRICK -
Premature Recurrent Illnesses Confined to Kneedles!

So remember - be vigilant and always be on the lookout for PRICK!
I know I am!

Ginger and Deb leave the room immediately - this is not
a laughing matter.

1 comment:

  1. I will be on alert for SNAP and PRICK to ensure that this does not become a global catastrophe.

    I am now leaving the room....laughing as I go.